Declarations of Love (And Other Useless Things)

BATS Theatre, The Stage, 1 Kent Tce, Wellington

26/08/2025 - 30/08/2025

Production Details


Created by Emma Maguire
Written by Emma Maguire & Hamish Boyle
Facilitated by Jo Marsh

Tempest Theatre Co


Back for its five year anniversary, Emma Maguire and Hamish Boyle run the gauntlet of sketch comedy, performing 15+ sketches about love, sex, queerness and rom-coms in 55 minutes.

It’s delirious, it’ll get your blood pumping (not like that), and maybe we’ll all come out of it satisfied.

Think parodies of Fifty Shades of Grey and the manosphere.

Interrogating love languages and horoscopes.

A lot of ~intimate eye contact~.

Maybe some touching.

The works.

BATS Theatre, Wellington

26 Aug 6.30 PM
27 Aug 6.30 PM
28 Aug 6.30 PM
29 Aug 6.30 PM
30 Aug 6.30 PM

https://bats.co.nz/whats-on/declarations-of-love-and-other-useless-things/

Link to 2020 details


Performers - Emma Maguire & Hamish Boyle
Lighting design and operation by Ezra Jones-Moki
Additional cast: Eddie Kerr, Shaun Swain, Caleb Havill and Matt Powell


Theatre , Comedy , LGBTQIA+ ,


55 minutes

Its characters dance in the territory of plausible deniability

Review by Cordy Black 27th Aug 2025

Declarations of Love (and other useless things) bills itself as the reprise of a sketch show that Emma Maguire and Hamish Boyle co-wrote and performed in 2020. Much of the script has been updated for this latest run at BATS theatre, including the opening sketch which takes aim at a distinctly mid-2020s corporatised media sensibility.

It feels odd to use the word ‘content’ to describe a play that is being very earnestly offered to us by a pair of dynamic and sincere actors, but it seems to fit the format. Jo Marsh’s dramaturgy functions like the invisible tape holding up a strapless dress: the audience is not supposed to see the structure behind the skits, instead experiencing many tiny scenes as if scrolling through the disconnected vignettes of a social media feed.

We see parodies of specific films or media here and there, but the sketches land better when they skewer a generalised trope rather than relying on audience familiarity with a specific movie or Reddit excerpt. There are some satisfying twists on the standard romantic-comedy or fictional tropes, and a couple of great surreal sketches that skewer relationship counselling and self-help dogma.

The most powerful sketches are those that give themselves breathing room to explore moments of genuine emotional vulnerability.

Ezra Jones-Moki offers well-timed and often subtle lighting moments that, in tandem with the quieter aspects of the sound design, clear the frenetic energy from the room and let Maguire and Boyle bond in peace. The actors’ interplay and, above all, the trust they bring to their scenes bring solidity and realness to scenarios that vary from plausible to outrageous.

Variations in tone, style and physicality add a lot to the show, as well as showcasing the performers’ acting range. Some sketches will hit harder than others, but a few are guaranteed to land and not pull their emotional punches. Both Boyle and Maguire throw themselves (sometimes literally) into the more dynamic sketches with a reckless joie-de-vivre that earns the audience’s good will before we settle in for a more intimate moment.

If this were an improv show, one would expect the characters to cut through to the emotionally honest ‘meat’ of the scenario’s problem, but Declarations is far less explicitly declarative. Its characters dance in the territory of plausible deniability, choosing to take themselves out of scenarios where they no longer feel like playing along. It’s a refreshing take that raises interesting questions about not just the agency of characters but the agency of actors.

The show is book-ended with sketches about performers who have their agency taken away from them, a decision that feels significant. What emerges from the sum total of the sketches is a struggle by two seasoned performers who want to write themselves out of the roles that no longer fit them, or who are trying to make sense of dramatic patterns that span multiple performance genres.

It will be interesting to see if, in another five years, Maguire and Boyle finally hit upon the Grand Unified Field Theory of Interpersonal Relationships. In the meantime, it’s fun to explore alongside them.

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