“I don’t do crowd work,” comedian Kirsty Webeck assures us. She’s at BATS Stage to present Everything I need to say about Sea Creatures and we are her first New Zealand audience. She rates high for likeability, not least by being Australian and for nevertheless asking us to contribute by interrupting.

About 65% of the show actually concerns sea creatures, which justifies Webeck’s title. It’s not what we need to hear: it’s what she needs to say. And indeed, we get to know a few other things as preamble: about neighbours on staircases, how to get your own back on the dentist, and what obtaining a winning lottery ticket consists of.

All good fun with enough audience interruption to encourage our comedian. Eventually we get to the sea creatures. We’re left in the dark about the reasons for Webeck’s obsession: is it because she was raised in Canberra, or more probably because her mother trained her early in the art of shark alerts? She used to like dolphins, but look out for amorous ones. White polar bears are included as sea creatures. And there are better options than stepping on sea urchins.

We’re back to large creatures again and whale watching from a cruise ship. The captain’s antics are disconcerting; so are the whale-breaching antics. Two other sea creatures come up for air, but you’ll have to attend this show if you want to know about them.

I’m left mystified about our comedian’s obsession with her subjects, but one thing’s for sure: although she doesn’t divulge what she’d like to be reincarnated as, if these observations and experiences are anything to go by, she’s got plenty of choice.

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