ConArtists want to know whether you’ve ever pashed a prince, rubbed up against a rock star, or got jiggy with a gigolo. It’s not to satisfy their sick curiosity, well, not entirely. It’s to spark the scenarios for the new show, Sex Lies & Improvise.

Good news for timid audience members who don’t want their sordid pasts known to all and sundry: the whole information-collection process is completely anonymous. All you need to do is answer a few questions on a form, then sit back and relax, safe in the knowledge that you won’t be asked to jump on stage and re-enact a porn scene for the masses.

The show really started downstairs in the pub while everyone was furiously filling out their questionnaires. Our "stage manager" mixed and mingled to check that everyone was comfortable and sharing their amorous desires on paper. And once upstairs he "fluffed" the crowd by teaching us our porn-star names, having everyone demonstrate their sex face and starting an oral Mexican wave of climax noises throughout the ages.

By the time our MC for the night, Randy Robertson (aka Nigel Burrows) joined us, we were warmed up and gagging for a good show. And that’s exactly what we got. The cast of Clare Kelso, Geoff Dolan, Greg Cooper, Penny Ashton, Robert Mignault and Stayci Taylor dished up entertainment that can only be described as "Whose Line is it Anyway" meets an uncensored "Carry-On" film.

As every show will be different it’s safe to tell you we saw hook-ups in space, heard about celebrity encounters of the raunchy kind and were serenaded with a duet about shagging in a container dressed in nothing but a high-vis vest.

The treat of the night was watching Robert agonisingly trying to guess that he’d slept with Susan Boyle after drinking a cocktail called Four Hours of Pleasure, then saying he couldn’t see her again because he had to go fishing with a mate. He got there in the end.

This isn’t a show for the faint-hearted, the conservative, or the prudish – you’d be much happier at "Austen Found" earlier in the evening. If, however, you’re keen to be titillated and don’t mind more risqué subject matter, you’ll have a ball (pardon the pun). Get along and make it the most provocative hour of your week. 
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